in/stability photography contest & exhibit

To celebrate the 15th anniversary of the Alliance for Metropolitan Stability, they organized a photo contest to depict the progress made towards stability in the Twin Cities, and to bring attention to instability-areas needing to improve. The contest was open to the community, photographers from all walks of life entered; and the judging was also done by community members voting on their favorites.

The Alliance for Metropolitan Stability hosted the exhibit of the photos tonight, at the Capri Theatre in North Minneapolis. It was a great opportunity to see different perspectives on life in the Twin Cities, and to share thoughts on the provocative images. I enjoyed the exhibit–the pictures were vibrant, unusual, candid. There were pictures of rotting buildings in neighborhoods written off as “ghetto”, pictures of cultural displays of art and other expression (music, art, dance, etc), serene city scenes and graffiti scrawled on buildings. There was so much offered in this exhibit–the talent and artistry was awesome.

I entered two photos in the exhibit. My instability depicted a lonely rail yard with a horizon of Minneapolis skyscrapers looming in the background. This juncture was where my life began–and ended.

The Beginning: When I was 18 years old, and first beginning my relationship with my abusive ex, he would drive up and down these rail yards. He enjoyed taking the “back roads” and telling scary stories (or listening to scary paranormal stories on Art Bell) at the lonely hours of night. Often, I would not get home until dawn; and our conversation would begin again on the telephone. I didn’t realize it then, but these trips started a dependence on my abuser. I became vulnerable with the fear caused by the stories, heightened by trips into dark, isolated areas. I was young and gullible, and also sleep deprived. Only then, I was convinced we were daring, different from others and sharing a “special connection”.

The Ending: My life ended at this juncture. After our relationship ended with a violent altercation, I would return to this area, to visit my kids at Genesis for Families. My ex swore that if I left, he would make up stories that I am crazy and take this kids from me. I didn’t believe such a thing could happen, not in America, but it did.

I was forced into supervised visitation because the court thought that my “fear” of my ex was harmful to the kids. I just needed to get over the poverty, the memories of abuse, and the ongoing intimidation. I was ordered into counseling, and diagnosed with PTSD rand anxiety elated to domestic abuse and homelessness. The therapist believed my story, but in the court the medical diagnosis was insignificant. Even worse, my son ran away from his father’s home, alleging abuse, and he was returned without ever identifying what caused him to run away. Even as my son continued to run away, even while almost all my contact with the children was cut off, no one did anything to help or investigate the situation. Why? It was easier to blame me–the victim. The message could not be more clear: a good wife and mother will stay in the relationship for the sake of the children, she will not complain, she will accept her role. A woman who leaves is tainted, mistrusted. Her allegations of abuse show her weakness, her flaws–this good man with a job and a car and house is strength, stability. Ignore the arrest warrant, the warnings in the court ordered psych eval, the history of addition, the past allegations of abuse–he didn’t leave: she did.

My life ends and begins again. I am not the naive girl I used to be. I have traveled farther than I ever could have imagined… I was proud to bring my children to the exhibit tonight. To let them know, their voices matter. To show them the diversity in our community. And in the scenes of rotting and decay, to show that underneath the ugliness there is a beating heart–a perseverance that won’t be denied.

Lynn Mari, © 2009

Alliance for Metropolitan Stability:
<a href="http://www.metrostability.org

 

25th Annual Homeless Memorial March & Service

The 25th Annual Homeless 2009

Memorial March and Service

Thursday, Dec 17

To honor those members of our community who died in 2009 while experiencing homelessness.

Last year’s service honored a record 131 homeless and formerly homeless people, as well as homeless advocates, who died in Minnesota in 2008.

On any night in Minnesota, there are at least 1,000 people out on the street. The average life expectancy in America is 77 years. The life expectancy of a person who is homeless is 47 years.

The schedule for the event includes:

5 pm | March and Silent Vigil
Hennepin County Government Center
3rd Avenue South and 5th Street South
The march will follow 5th Street west to Nicollet Avenue and proceed south to 28th Street.

6:30 pm | Service of Remembrance
Simpson United Methodist Church
2740 1st Avenue South, Minneapolis

Speaker: Monica Nilsson, Director of Outreach - St. Stephen’s Human Services and longtime advocate for the homeless community.

Music will include: Native Drummers from the Ain Dah Yung Center; Saleha Erdman on cello.

7:30 p.m.
Community Meal
Simpson Shelter (basement of Simpson Church)

Sponsored by Simpson Housing Services, Minnesota Coalition for the Homeless and the Shelter Providers Action Association.

Parking and Shuttles
Parking is available at the Kmart parking lot located at
10 West Lake Street, Minneapolis

Shuttle Buses will depart from Kmart, at the corner of Lake Street & First Avenue at 4:20 pm.

For more information contact:
Eric Johnson
612.455.0858
email: ejohnson@simpsonhousing.org

The 2008 service, held Thursday, Dec. 18, honored a record 131 homeless and formerly homeless people, as well as homeless advocates, who died in Minnesota in 2008.

Greg Horan was one of the people memorialized at the event.

Greg was homeless for a time in his life. He was an editor for The Way Life Is: Street Views from Downtown St. Paul, a free newsletter that was produced by “street writers” and volunteers, all of whom, like Greg, had known the pain and indignity of trying to survive as a homeless person on the streets of downtown St. Paul.

Read A Lonely Walk Toward Morning by Greg Horan, from the newsletter.
<a href="http://www.simpsonhousing.org/memorial/greghoran.html

 

That Devil Wasn’t No Friend: A Book Review

(p. 336), “He had taken that young girl’s innocence and, through the years, modeled it to fit him perfectly…”

(p. 163), “She wasn’t that same cornered, lonely girl who needed him to show her what I was for a man to love a woman… It was her innocence, her uncertainty about herself that entranced him. But those traits were slowly diminishing in Kristine and she was beginning to see what he’d seen all along: that she was a desirable woman with the power to win any man’s heart.”

I found this fiction novel by chance in the library, and absolutely love the sassy, street talkin’ titles of Mason’s books. Mason writes fiction novels about the loves, struggles and personal insights in the lives of five Black characters.

“That Devil’s No Friend of Mine” explores the relationships of five people, whose lives are connected through the death of a powerful intimidating figure, Bishop Fontaine.

Throughout life, Bishop bullied, manipulated and overpowered these people, but at the same time he was a sort of anchor that held back their own demons, struggles and self doubts. – When their lives became controlled by Bishop, they didn’t have to face themselves or deal with their problems; they also were not able to grasp life, in all its joys and complexities. After Bishop dies, and his grip is finally broken, each character faces revelation, pain and a new beginning—some teetering on the edge of destruction, others on the verge of freedom.

I could relate to the character Kristine and her dealings with a much older man, Lamar, who took advantage of her, and manipulated so that she had no other identity or purpose in life than to be his woman. —Though he professed to love her, in reality Kristine was only a possession, and used as a security for this man who was too frightened to face the real world. Kristine was a vulnerable young girl dominated by her father (Bishop), who dictated every aspect of her life when his business partner, Lamar, began to lust after her and seduced Kristine as a teenager. This wasn’t a “relationship”—it was a much older man taking advantage of a young, inexperienced girl who had never ventured past her front door. Lamar is not able to have meaningful relationships with other adults, and is emotionally distant to his wife. Lamar is repulsed by his wife, and finds young Kristine sexually attractive in part because she was so needy and willing to believe whatever he tells her. Kristine grows older, and is molded to fit Lamar’s life perfectly—she is quiet, unassuming and serving. Only after her father’s death does Kristine begin to break away, and forge her own life. When Lamar senses he is losing her, his insecurities begin to show in dangerous, obsessive behavior. Kristine fights to start her life over, and heal from the past…but her chance at love could also mean destroying the only life she has known, and finally, asserting her identity as a woman, not the child Lamar has become so fixated on.

The relationship between Kristine and Lamar reminds me a lot of what I endured with my ex, and my struggle to break free after years of abuse. One of the hardest things I had to face was the lies I told myself, the manipulation that had choked me—all of which prevented me from seeing the truth, and being able to break away.

There is a lot of attention paid to keeping young children safe—but I believe we must also focus on our teenagers. A teen’s need for growth and independence also leaves them vulnerable to predators. Though we must also encourage, and allow room for our teens to begin their own lives—we should be careful not to push them away, and teach them discernment and healthy boundaries. Not an easy job! But I have learned from my life, that even a headstrong, fiercely independent teenager is not invincible. Those closest to you are often those who hurt you the most. The guidance and discipline you give to a child, is a tool for them to develop their identity in a safe, supportive environment while also nurturing their ability to reason, judge and accept consequences. That teenager may resist, yell and cause a ruckus but don’t let go because what you are teaching could save them from a lot of trouble in life. Even more, it will give them an opportunity to really come into their own.

“The Devil’s No Friend of Mine” also explores various aspects of abuse—both male and female, and through the characters, shows how identity and self-worth can be degraded through sustained intimidation and violence. It is a look at redemption, and coming to grips with sick secrets. It is a book about avoidance and blame, and taking responsibility. I really enjoyed this book for its complexity, surprises and gritty portrayal of life and love.

Lynn Mari, 2009.

“That Devil’s No Friend of Mine”, J.D. Mason. St. Martin’s Press, 2009. New York: New York.

 

She Wasn’t: Quote JD Mason

(p. 336), “He had taken that young girl’s innocence and, through the years, modeled it to fit him perfectly…”

(p. 163), “She wasn’t that same cornered, lonely girl who needed him to show her what I was for a man to love a woman… It was her innocence, her uncertainty about herself that entranced him. But those traits were slowly diminishing in Kristine and she was beginning to see what he’d seen all along: that she was a desirable woman with the power to win any man’s heart.”

“That Devil’s No Friend of Mine”, J.D. Mason. St. Martin’s Press, 2009. New York: New York.

 

Commentary: Section 8 Housing Waiting List

When I first became homeless, I could not comprehend that although my family was in an immediate crisis, with a real need, there would be no affordable housing available–that even some shelters would turn us away because of lack of space. I had a notion that there would be some system or agency that would spring up to help, and letting go of that idea was very painful but necessary so I could find the strength to fight for the survival of my family. I had to come to realize that if we were to find housing it would be by my own efforts and determination, as well as God’s grace.

When I attempted to apply for Section 8 in St. Paul I was told the government did not consider me to be “homeless” because my children and I were sleeping on a couch, we had shelter under a roof–even if it was not our home, and we were forced out of our home. I was told to be “homeless” I had to sleep outside, in a shelter, in a campsite or motel. And eventually, I would do just that in order to qualify for help. While my children and I struggled, my abuser was enjoying himself in our home and going on gambling binges. It was a real shock to me that the government would not even require him to pay child support, and my children had nothing–our food came from food shelves, our clothing from free stores, our shelter from the generosity of others.

My hope in the system ended the day I attempted to apply for Section 8 in St. Paul. I called the office (a major feat to even get to a free phone!) and was told the waiting list is closed, and they wouldn’t even take my name for consideration. I was advised to call back in a couple months and see if anything had changed. I told the lady I was homeless with two kids, I have no source of income and fleeing domestic violence–What do I do? The lady told me, “Go to a shelter.” I asked her, for how long, when will there be housing available? She didn’t have any answers for me… I learned then that you just have to keep trying to get help, and even when someone says “no”, don’t give up.

Almost two years later, I “won” a spot on the waiting list for Section 8 in St. Paul. I still am waiting for my name to come to the top of the list…and I am very aware there are those who did not even get on the waiting list, and I pray for them.

My advise is to make plans in the meanwhile, and do your best to have hope and stay strong.

God Bless!

Lynn Mari, 2009.

 

Richfield (MN) HRA Accepting Section 8 Applications

The Richfield HRA is Accepting Applications for Section 8 Rent Assistance

The Section 8 Program is a federally funded rent assistance program designed to provide affordable rental housing for low-income families.

To receive an application for the Section 8 Program, you must apply in person at Veteran’s Memorial Park (Art Center Building) located at 6335 Portland Ave. From those completed applications received, Richfield HRA will randomly draw 500 applications to be placed on the waiting list.
Hours to pick up an application are:
October 8, 2009 – 8:30 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.
October 9, 2009 – 8:30 a.m. – 3:30 p.m

Income limits to be eligible
for the program:
Household Size
Very Low Income
1: $29,350
2: $33,550
3: $37,750
4: $41,950
5: $44,300
6: $48,650
7: $52,000
8: $55,350

http://www.cityofrichfield.org/CD/docs/Section_8_ad_2009.pdf

_______________________

UPDATE: 10/27/2009 CARVER COUNTY IS ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR PUBLIC HOUSING

<a href="http://www.hra.carver.mn.us

Public Housing

Residents of Public Housing pay 30% of their adjusted monthly income for rent. This is a project-based program, which means that if a resident moves out of one of our Public Housing units, they cannot take the rent assistance with them. The rental assistance stays with the unit.

Our scattered-site program is unique in that it gives our residents the opportunity to experience living in a single-family home, an apartment, a townhome or a duplex. Our residents are responsible for upkeep of the lawn and shoveling snow in the winter. In addition, our residents of this program are responsible for paying their own gas and electric bills.

Applications

The Carver County CDA is accepting applications for our Scattered Site Public Housing Program for 2, 3, 4 and 5 bedrooms.
The approximate wait is up to a year or more. It depends on unit size applied for.
Information needed to fill out the application is social security numbers & birthdays for everyone residing in the home.
Anyone 18 years or older must come & sign the application
Applications are taken in person at: Carver County CDA, 705 N Walnut St, Chaska, MN 55318, Mon. thru Fri. from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM or can be mailed out to you.
The single family homes/townhomes/duplexes/apartments are scattered through-out Carver County in the cities of Chaska, Waconia, Victoria, Norwood Young America, Chanhassen, Carver, Cologne and Watertown.
For directions, please see here on our website.
Applications must be completed by the head of household and all other adults of the family 18 years of age or older listed on the application.

Eligibility

In order to be eligible for Public Housing, the household gross annual income must be below 80% of the 2008 HUD established income limits for this area. Income limits are listed below.

Family Size 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8
Income Limit $41,700 $47,700 $53,650 $59,600 $64,350 $69,150 $73,900 $78,650

Once you are a resident for the Public Housing Program, the income limits do not apply.

In addition to the income limit:

1) Applicant families must also pass the Carver County CDA’s screening criteria. Management will check criminal history, rental history, and credit history;

2) The Head of Household must be a United States citizen or National and/or have eligible immigration status.

Important Things to Know About This Program

The Security Deposit for all of our units is $500.00 and is due prior to occupancy. All residents are responsible or putting the utilities into their name. Some utility companies do require an additional deposit and/or proof of prior good payment history. The Carver County CDA Public Housing program does not allow household pets.

Please call us at (952) 448-7715 with any additional questions about this program.

The Carver County CDA administers a small Public Housing program in Carver County only. The units are scattered throughout almost all communities in Carver County. Residents of the Public Housing program pay a percentage of their income for rent. The Carver County CDA owns and manages these programs.

The Carver County CDA owns and operates 81 units of Public Housing in Carver County. The scattered-site Public Housing program consists of 50 units that are scattered throughout the county. These units are single-family homes, townhomes, duplexes and apartment style. The other 31 units are Spruce Apartments in Waconia. This property has 1, 2, 3 and 4 bedroom units.

 

Empty Space (Poetry/Haibun)

I stand amid empty spaces. The walls called “home “ have crumbled. Concrete sidewalks welcome weary feet. I have become the man sleeping on the curb. The woman pushing the stained stroller, bags bundled in the bottom. The pale child standing in line outside an alley kitchen. It has happened to me. Homeless. My strength lies in knowing that from the ruins, remain a scattering of brick and broken lumber—this is the strongest, the foundation. From these I will rebuild my life.

Don’t fear displacement
the final sigh of the wind
will bring the lost home.

Lynn Mari, © 2009

Learning a new form of poetry called “Haibun”, it is a combination of prose and Haiku.

 

Two Wings to Fly: Rumi (Quote)

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly, not one.” – Rumi

 

Cash for Clunkers: Hug a Tree, Slap the Poor

Cash for Clunkers: A government bailout program that will profit the auto industry, trick consumers into buying unreliable cars at the cost of their own tax dollars and slap the poor in the face by robbing them of a vehicle that could improve their living situation.

What is Cash For Clunkers?

The Cash for Clunkers or “CARS” program is a government bailout designed to stimulate the ailing auto industry and promote the environmentalist lifestyle by offering consumers up to a $4,500 rebate on the purchase of a new, eco friendly car. In order to qualify, consumers must trade in their old car, aka the “clunker” for a new car that has better gas mileage. The merits of ethanol and other hybrid fuel sources are highly contraversial. Whether the car is actually environmentally sound (or whether our environment needs this measure of protection) has yet to be proven.

CARS also being called “fleet modernization” and “scrappage” because the old cars are scrapped, stripped for parts and permanently taken off the road in a bloodthirsty cry to save the Earth, and save the auto industry. Which in itself, is contradictory.

Initially, $1 Billion dollars was allotted for this program, which ran out of money faster than it could give it away. The House then voted to approve an additional $2 billion dollars for the program in an effort to save it from “scrappage”, CARS will soon go before the Senate for a final vote.

Who is paying for CARS? You are through your tax dollars.

What Does This Mean For the Poor?

The CARS program is based on a European policy, it does not reflect the needs of the American people. Nor has it been scientifically proven to have a real, environmental benefit. What we do know is that perfectly useable cars are being scrapped–with ads showing the cars tipping out of dumpsters. The cost of scrapping, shipping metal and dumping the cars will likely cause its own environmental impact.

We also know that the American people have a variety of needs, we are in an economic crisis–whose remedy seems to be treated with record levels of government spending. Now the government is setting itself up as a wheel and deal used car salesman with the pitch that this is good for our environment. But is CARS what America really needs? Our tax dollars would be better spent invested in the American people, and in our real life concerns…not used to purchase a luxury item for someone else, who obviously is not struggling if they can buy a car

Poor people, disabled people, single moms, abused women and the elderly could benefit from these unwanted cars. I don’t understand why these vehicles have to be scrapped. What happened to reuse, reduse and recycle?

Here are some likely scenarios:

1) Abused woman (may have children) fleeing her home, the car would provide a means to escape, and a means to survive indepedantly on her own.
2) A family with a handicapped child could use a van or a truck for transportation, and it may be better suited to medical equiptment and additional space needed. A poor family, who cannot afford the high costs of this specialized transportation, would especially benefit.
3) A single parent household could use the transportation for employment, education, groceries and day to day living. Families relying on public transportation are forced to spend hours running simple errands. Many single parent families struggle to get children to and from daycare, relying on public transportation, they may have to cut their work hours. Issues like these create barriers, and make it harder to overcome poverty. A vehicle would be an immense help, and asset to a needy family.
4) A homeless family has finally been offered housing but the housing is in an area with no public transportation or limited public transportation. The unwanted “clunker” would allow the family an opportunity to get off the streets, and get into a better neighborhood.
5) A struggling church or non-profit agency could use the “clunker” to provide transportation or access to community resources, directly meeting the needs of our communities.
For an elderly or disabled person, they would have better access to resources and more opportunities to socialize, and be involved the community because transportation has been provided to servicing agencies.

Is this real? In my experience, YES! In some form of another these scenarios have happened to me.

After I fled my home, my abuser took the family car, and then refused to make payments on it as a form of punishment. My children and I were forced to rely on the bus. In the winters, when temperatures, dropped below zero–in rain storms–in any kind of weather, my children I trekked outside. One winter it was so cold, that when we walked outside, my children screamed and cried as icy winds hit their faces and almost knocked them to the ground. Another time it rained so hard that our clothing was soaking through, and we were left shivering cold. A simple trip to the grocery store could take 2 hours or more. I carried groceries in a backpack, and also loaded up the baby stroller. It was nearly impossible to do laundry. More than once we encountered dangerous situations. Yet we had no other choice.

We were on waiting lists for housing for 2 years before a home was finally offered–in a rural area. We had no other place to live and were forced to accept a home in an area with no bus service. And because I am fleeing domestic violence, I have to remain hidden from my abuser and have to take my children outside my home town for schooling; so I have to provide my own transportation to get my kids to school. Other than a gas station, there is no grocery store for nearly 5 miles. Thank God, a car was donated to us by family members, who saved their money so we would not have to struggle. Our “clunker” has literally saved our lives, and given my children a chance at a better life.

DO NOT SCRAP OR SALVAGE YOUR CLUNKER! DONATE IT TO A CHARITY OR AGENCY THAT WILL HELP POOR PEOPLE!!!!!

I also urge the Senate to vote against this ridiculous bill. Our tax dollars can and should be better spent.

Lynn Mari, © 2009.

Note: CARS ended 8/24/2009, the Obama Administration is planning to start a similiar program involving energy efficient home appliances–another outrage!

Links:

“Cash For Clunkers, Crackpot Economic”, Wall Street Journal, Op Ed. 8/2/2009.
“Clearly, we spoilsports need an attitude adjustment to Washington’s new economics…as long as everyone thinks we can conjure wealth out of $4,500 giveaways, let’s go all the way.’
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204313604574326531645819464.html

“Critics Blast ‘Cash for Clunkers $2 Billion Dollar Lifeline” by Mike Lillis, The Washington Independant. 7/31/09.
http://washingtonindependent.com/53487/critics-blast-cash-for-clunkers-2-billion-lifeline

“Q & A: How the ‘cash-for-clunker’ plan would work” by James R. Healy, USA Today. 6/10/2009
http://www.usatoday.com/money/autos/2009-05-11-chrysler-gm-cash-clunkers_N.htm

“Success Threatens to Sink ‘Cash For Clunkers’ Program. Fox News Chad Pergram and AP. 7/30/2009
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/30/officials-say-government-set-suspend-cash-clunkers-program

 

The Most Important Thing a Father Can Do: Quote

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” – Theodore Martin Hesburgh, Catholic priest